the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
