Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
