When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
