But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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