sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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