you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
