why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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