I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
