whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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