You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
