I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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