So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
