dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
