My nipple is on Facebook.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
