a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
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