I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
