bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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