what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
