I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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