We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize