she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
