so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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