He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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