I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I looked at my own cervix.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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