you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Are my feet made of real feet?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
