He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I supernannyed him into submission
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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