I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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