he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I smell like Dick and happiness
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize