if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
