ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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