dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
