1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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