Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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