"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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