Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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