I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
