Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize