I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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