So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
