Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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