hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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