Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
