One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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