i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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