somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
