I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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