This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Two words: nipple clamps
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