He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
