My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
