This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
