You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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