I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Porn is love you can see.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
