We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
