Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
