How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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