FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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