On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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