we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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