whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
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If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
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If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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