I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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