garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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