# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
