If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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